by Marcia | Dec 1, 2015 | Childrearing
How do you give really bad news to children? What should you say when a natural disaster hits or when someone important dies? How can you parse a divorce for a child—or bankruptcy or foreclosure or drug addiction or crime? This world has so many kinds of adversity....
by Marcia | Nov 17, 2015 | Childrearing
“My child is out of control!” I have heard this heartfelt cry so many times from parents who are frustrated at not being obeyed. But the problem is not simply a matter of exacting compliance. Let’s start by considering the complaint. When you say “out of control,” you...
by Marcia | Nov 6, 2015 | Childrearing
Below are more ways of improving your children’s behavior without bringing out the big guns. As with the last batch of suggestions, these defuse tension by relying on a sense of humor, which gets you results without resentment. In the Doghouse Sometimes it’s...
by Marcia | Oct 30, 2015 | Childrearing
It’s great when parents can correct a young child without provoking tension, conflict, and a power struggle. One way of doing this is to use some form of playful humor to make your point. Some of the examples below work well in families with several children. ...
by Marcia | Oct 13, 2015 | Childrearing
Back in the Dark Ages when I was about five years old, I can remember lying on my bed and sobbing, then hearing my father’s angry voice—“I’m not going to put up with this!”—and his footsteps coming swiftly down the hall toward my room. I got a spanking that day and on...
by Marcia | Oct 6, 2015 | Childrearing
Children are like recent immigrants. They arrive with little or no command of the language or knowledge of the local customs and depend on the natives for survival. As they learn to fend for themselves, they rely heavily on their senses and their powers of...
by Marcia | Sep 30, 2015 | Childrearing
A woman who sees me for counseling spoke recently about chatting with a man she met on an online dating site. After their initial contact he wanted to connect with her by phone or text. Noticing that he lived in a nearby town, she suggested that they meet for coffee....
by Marcia | Sep 1, 2015 | Childrearing, Learning
Sick and tired of computer games that isolate kids in cyberspace while keeping their eyes riveted on the monitor? Board and card games, better for young brains and bodies, are also great ways of having fun while building social awareness, fine motor skills, and...
by Marcia | Aug 21, 2015 | Childrearing
When a child breaks household rules, many parents invoke consequences. “Okay, that’s it,” they say. “No cell phone. No computer. No iPad. No Wii.” Sometimes kids are grounded for months. Consequences of this sort are really just ordinary punishment, which usually...
by Marcia | Jul 10, 2015 | Childrearing
One of my child clients, a smart, pretty redhead we’ll call Marcy, comes to see me after graduating from an extended day treatment program at a local clinic. Marcy, age nine, is healthy, strong, and stubborn. She is an unenthusiastic student at school, where she...
by Marcia | Apr 24, 2015 | Childrearing
Ever wonder why some kids seem to have it all? Some children succeed in school, have lots of friends, and look confident. In a group they appear connected to others and seem to be having fun. On their own, they take pride in their talents and achievements. They are...
by Marcia | Mar 13, 2015 | Childrearing
Most of what I know about children I have learned by observing them. What children say is only a small part of the story. How they look, act, and respond to their immediate environment—as well as to you and me—is far more important. The longer you look, and the more...
by Marcia | Mar 10, 2015 | Childrearing
Some children struggle to make and keep friends. You can use this list of pointers to help your child develop social skills. The conversation can also be a springboard for discussion of the many ways of enjoying other people’s company. Let someone know you’d like to...
by Marcia | Jan 9, 2015 | Childrearing
In the process of childrearing it’s easy to get sidetracked by day-to-day concerns involving school and home, but it’s important to step back and look at the big picture from time to time. What should your primary goals be as a parent? Try this mission statement on...
by Marcia | Dec 2, 2014 | Childrearing
Speech is not as important to children as it is to adults. Children have a smaller vocabulary than grownups and don’t depend on words to express their feelings. If you’re a parent, you need to look at the big picture to know what’s going on with your kid. Therapists...
by Marcia | Oct 31, 2014 | Childrearing
American families seeking mental health services for troubled children in the community today face a daunting challenge. Budgets are tight, resources are hard to access, and demand exceeds supply. Parents do well to become forceful advocates. Scarce benefits go to...
by Marcia | Oct 14, 2014 | Childrearing, Mental Health
You are worried that something is wrong with your child. Perhaps worse, you doubt your own ability to fix it, and so you are bringing your child to see me, a therapist. It seems only fair, under the circumstances, that I should tell you up front what I can do for you...
by Marcia | Oct 10, 2014 | Childrearing
Children as medicine? No, I do not mean “children and medicine.” I am not talking about how to raise them, and I am certainly not suggesting that you bring a child into this world so that you can heal yourself in some way. I have in mind the natural...
by Marcia | Sep 19, 2014 | Childrearing
I’ve been a stepparent, and I’ve had a stepparent. If this history doesn’t make me sound like an expert, let me say that as a psychotherapist I’ve listened to dozens of stepparents, their spouses, and their stepchildren. Stepparents have a tough job, but a few...
