by Marcia | Oct 16, 2015 | Love & Marriage, Relationship Skills
Carol and Eric, married for twenty years and with children at home, came to see me on the brink of divorce. Carol was seething with a cold rage. Eric was penitent, in obvious pain, desperate to save their marriage. Carol said, “We both know we had a sacred agreement....
by Marcia | Sep 25, 2015 | Love & Marriage, Relationship Skills
Many unhappy couples go to counselors together before calling it quits. Many of the counselors believe that their job as professionals is to save the partnership. Dr. Phil is an example. “You know you’re ready for a divorce when you can walk out the door...
by Marcia | Jul 28, 2015 | Love & Marriage
He’s married, and he looks at another woman. She, with a husband and two kids, lunches alone with a single male coworker. Does this behavior amount to cheating? What about text messages and phone calls? In the television series Orange Is the New Black, Piper has sex...
by Marcia | Jul 24, 2015 | Love & Marriage
Most people think getting married is procedurally pretty simple. You connect with someone you like and find attractive. You date for a while. You meet the folks and the friends. You compare notes: living and working where? how many kids? You affirm your love....
by Marcia | Jul 21, 2015 | Love & Marriage
When I was a kid, back in prehistoric times, someone published a book with answers to all the questions people had about sex (so the title proclaimed) but were afraid to ask. Nowadays no one seems to be afraid of asking anything, but sex is still a bugaboo. He doesn’t...
by Marcia | Jul 17, 2015 | Love & Marriage, Relationship Skills
When I see couples for therapy, the problem is always the same: communication is blocked. It’s my job to ensure that both people speak and that both feel heard. In sessions with individuals I help clients probe their thoughts and feelings, but with couples I become a...
by Marcia | Jun 19, 2015 | Love & Marriage, Relationship Skills
The older we get, the more likely we are to have been betrayed in the past. Particularly when betrayal comes early in life, and certainly when it happens repeatedly, it haunts us. We work frantically to prevent a recurrence. This is where distrust begins. Betrayal...
by Marcia | Jun 16, 2015 | Love & Marriage, Relationship Skills
The couples who come to see me have reached an impasse. Often they can’t talk without yelling and insulting each other. Sometimes they can’t keep house in a way that satisfies them both. Often one feels burdened and believes the other is not doing enough. Always the...
by Marcia | May 1, 2015 | Love & Marriage
As a way of meeting a long-term partner, online dating sites are now second only to meeting through friends. This short guide includes some extra information to help older daters feel more comfortable with this still relatively new way of finding a companion. If...
by Marcia | Apr 21, 2015 | Love & Marriage
Divorce forces you to figure out who you are without the other person. This statement sounds obvious and simple, right? Still, if the two of you have been married for many years, perhaps raising children together, it can be anything but. You are accustomed to allowing...
by Marcia | Mar 3, 2015 | Love & Marriage
Another relationship went south and you ask yourself why. You found this great guy (or gal). Your eyes met across a crowded room, and—wow! Heaven and earth moved. You just knew that this was The One. The two of you got acquainted on a couple of heady dates and hopped...
by Marcia | Feb 13, 2015 | Love & Marriage
It has never been easier to send chocolates and flowers on Valentine’s Day. A click and a few keyboarded numbers will do the job. But how genuine and heartfelt is a gesture that involves so little real thought and effort? There’s a better way. The suggestions below...
by Marcia | Feb 6, 2015 | Love & Marriage
Often people ask me to tell them if a relationship is over. Mostly they want me to read someone else’s behavior, to say how I think the other person may be feeling and whether or not she (or he) will ever change. So what would I say if you asked me these questions?...
by Marcia | Feb 3, 2015 | Love & Marriage
When I was twelve, my mother died of cancer. She had been ill for seven years. A beautiful redhead in her youth, she increasingly isolated as the disease ravaged her. Over time, I became her sole companion. Now, as a child I could hardly be held responsible for...
by Marcia | Jan 20, 2015 | Love & Marriage, Relationship Skills
How can people connect more easily with each other, casually or when they are looking for love? Are there magic tricks that help transform strangers into friends and friends into lovers and partners? Recent research offers some clues. Companies often use a simple...
by Marcia | Jan 13, 2015 | Love & Marriage, Relationship Skills
Sometimes the people we most want to attract are not ready for friendship or for a romantic relationship. Sometimes it seems as if the other person runs away the minute you reach out. Going after him or her almost feels like the child’s game of peekaboo: now you see...
by Marcia | Nov 28, 2014 | Love & Marriage
Romance and companionship are easiest to find when we are young, but opportunities are still there for older folks if you know where to look. The wider you cast your net, the more likely you are to succeed. The educational system, from high school through university...
by Marcia | Oct 7, 2014 | Love & Marriage
The couples who come to see me are often people who fight about housekeeping. For the sake of argument, let’s assume that the plaintiff is the husband and the defendant the wife. Still, the roles are often reversed. Hubby Gerald argues that wife Sheila is impossibly...
by Marcia | Sep 30, 2014 | Love & Marriage
If you are looking for a long-term partner, you want to be emotionally available. Huh? What is “emotionally available”? Isn’t it enough to be not married or not in a relationship with someone else? Not exactly. Let me explain. In the discussion below, disregard the...
by Marcia | Sep 12, 2014 | Love & Marriage, Relationship Skills
You can set the stage for romance in bed and elsewhere by following a few simple rules. No, I’m not talking about wine, candles, and roses. I’m talking about attitude. Some people think of sex simply as something to have or do. It’s easy to see how this mindset...
by Marcia | Sep 5, 2014 | Love & Marriage, Relationship Skills
The process by which people size each other up is far more complicated than online dating might lead you to believe. Two people can exchange a zillion emails with photos, but they will know far more about each other in a split second when they finally meet face to...
